The Elevation Principle

I used to love an inanimate object. I called her Loretta.

She was, frankly, amazing. She would say things – simple things – to anyone in the breathiest, sexiest voice. Everything was a come on.

“Going down.”

“Doors closing”

But sadly, after a recent refit, Loretta is gone. Her sexual prowess torn out. She is, sadly, a shell of her former self.

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